simple.

i don't do simple. in my life, nothing is simple. in my writing, nothing is simple.

yet i love simple. some of the most beautiful/heartbreaking/profound words i've ever read are simple.

langston hughes, one of my favorite poets by far, does simple quite masterfully:

"i loved my friend/he went away from me/there's nothing more to say/the poem ends soft as it began/i loved my friend."

simple. but you can't tell me that you don't get the point...

Ocean

Today I'll deal with today's Sunday Scribblings prompt with a few odds and ends about "Ocean":

• If I had to choose between the mountains and the ocean, I would, every time, pick the ocean. Sounds slightly odd, since I can't swim. But to me, ocean denotes warmth (though clearly not all oceans are warm) and mountains denote cold (which i hate above all else). Mountains also make me think of Colorado---while it may be where I love, it is NOT home. And never will be.


• Our family didn't take a lot of trips to the beach when I was growing up. Sad, bc we didn't live too far--maybe an hour and a half drive? When we did go, it was always a day trip, never spending the night (except that one trip to the Outer Banks). What did the ocean always remind me of? Lots of sand stuck to my body, and a blistering sunburn (no matter how much sunscreen I used...I always missed a spot, and I never tan). Sand and sunburns? Quite a painful combo.


• One of my most memorable trips to the beach was the weekend after 9.11. yes, THAT 9.11. i went with some of my former dormmates for a house retreat. and while it was nice, i don't remember it being fun. i just remember being super reflective. it was SO peaceful out there on oak island--how could something so dreadful have happened, and so recently? even worse, as i was looking out onto the ocean, watching and listening to the waves crash on the sand, i envisioned planes going down in flames. but i also remembered how fortunate i was to have so many special people in my life--and i felt grateful for the love i had.


• I so wish i didn't burn so readily. bc one of my favorite things to do (on the rare occasions when i am able to do it) is to sit on the sand and watch the ocean. the combination of sun and water...honestly there is nothing better. and when the ocean is as beautiful as it is in the caribbean? well, even better.

i miss the ocean.

Crush

over the past 20+ years, i've had numerous crushes. some memorable, some not so memorable. some requited, most of them not. but all of them are stories to tell...here are just a few:

the first crush:
his name was konrad. he was in my kindergarten class. not necessarily the cutest kid around (back then, my idea of mr. dreamy was michael damian from the young and the restless...yes, i watched y&r when i was 5), but konrad had charisma. he made me laugh. it made me feel good. to this day, a sense of humor is still the number one i look for in a crush. thanks to konrad.

the big crush:
i had plenty of crushes after konrad, but the big one came when i moved to nc in the fifth grade. that's when i met jc. jc was short. really short. he wore baggy pants and one day he wore a funny-looking fishing cap to school. i thought he was the cutest thing i'd ever seen, even though he was a bit of a bad boy. and no, i've never been into bad boys. the crush lasted for a good year and a half, until seventh grade. he sat behind me in math class, and i got to know him a little better...enough to realize i was SO over him.

the anonymous crush:
after many more crushes (some big, some small), i got to high school. on the first day, i saw this beautiful boy in the cafeteria. tall, dark and handsome with the most beautiful eyes i'd ever seen. i became infatuated, i would get excited every time i saw him in the hallway, i would go to basketball games to see him play (or sit on the bench). and no. i never spoke to him. i wasn't ready for that crush to die.

the pseudo-celebrity crush:
when i was in college, the basketball players were definitely the big men on campus. and being the shy girl i am, i couldn't dare talk to any of them. i didn't even bother crushing on them, bc they were so popular with everyone else. except one. he was in one of my classes--the first time i saw him, i thought he was kind of cute, but i didn't realize he was a basketball player. perhaps if i had never realized it, i would not have been too shy to speak. perhaps we could have been great friends. but what can i say, i was terrified of him! my biggest embarrassment: one day after a game, he came up to me and said 'hey sweetie.' my response? i said hello and kept right on walking. let's just say he never tried to strike up a conversation again.

the grown-up crush:
is there really such a thing as a grown-up crush? i mean, i may be a grown-up (26 SHOULD be grown up, right?) but while i still crush, it feels oh-so-childlike. shouldn't i be over the whole 'i wonder what he's doing right now' curiosity and the excitement when he walks into the room? is it still necessary to feel giddy when i hear his voice or smell something that reminds me of him? honestly, i hope i never outgrow a crush...especially when it comes to the person i want to spend the rest of my life with.